OK, I just flipped real quick through the last, I dunno, 90 or so posts on Mashable, which I picked because it’s more or less representative of most of the blogs that cover what’s new and exciting on the Web, and because it was sitting there, in my Reader, kind of in the middle, with 245 posts unread, begging for attention. It could have happened to anybody.
I’m just an Internet entrepreneur/evangelist having a little crisis of faith. But I can’t possibly be the only one who’s noticed that the Emperor has no clothes…
QR Codes Help Consumers Shop for Wine. Point your gadget at the wine bottle. Watch a video about the wine. Move on to next bottle of wine. And the next. Vacillate. Get annoyed. Ask the guy what goes good with seafood.
HOW TO: Get Started with HTML5 Boilerplate. Now HTML5 is exciting, no question. (Go and enter your zip code in the interactive film The Wilderness Downtown. Arcade Fire soundtrack. Pure awesome.)
Google Responds to Steve Jobs’s Android Activation Jab. Bitch fight.
A Facebook-Based Online Store Just for Students. A “genius idea” with “lifestyle brands” targeting college kids. Nausea.
Pay for Starbucks Coffee with Your BlackBerry. Starbucks and Blackberry sitting in a tree, S-U-C-K-I-N-G.
Twitter Launches Official iPad App. Duh.
Facebook Places Gets a Romantic Twist with MeetMoi Integration. Don’t just go to a bar and pick up a girl. Find all the girls in bars nearby through Facebook and simultaneously flirt with them all online first. Pick the one who seems drunkest and then go nail her. Don’t have to buy her as many drinks or wait as long that way. Dontcha love location apps?
HOW TO: Follow the US Open with Social Media. Watching tennis on Twitter. Happy happy joy joy.
Apple Introduces “Ping” Music Social Network and iTunes 10. Was interested for 30 seconds. Utterly lame, unless you’re about nothing but buying stuff on iTunes. Ping Is the Last Nail in the Coffin for MySpace. Nope. Because MySpace at least has… Hit it boys! Personality (walk) Personality (talk) Personality (charm) Personality (love) Personality…
FCC Questions Key Aspects of Google and Verizon’s Net Neutrality Proposal. Important. So is generally keeping an eye on the one site to rule them all one site to find them one site to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Google to Power AOL Search for the Next 5 Years. See?
To Unfriend or Not to Unfriend: That Is the Facebook Question. Are we still talking about this?
Justin.tv’s Android App Lets You Broadcast Live Video Anytime, Anywhere. Great. More naked weirdos live.
Old Digg Crushes New Digg in Reader Vote. New version of Digg. Users like the old version better. Duh.
Windows Phone 7 Ready for Release. Microsoft sells phones too? Must be crap.
Filmmaker Raises More than $34,000 for Pirate Bay Documentary. Could be interes…zzzzzzzzzzzz
Target to Sell Facebook Credits as Gift Cards in Stores. Fall of Western Civilization. (Boycott Target, they donated $150K to a far-right gubernatorial candidate, superbly executed flashmob in protest (video).)
4 Tips for Writing SEO-Friendly Blog Posts. Are we still talking about this?
FashionStake “allows consumers to help fund and shape designers’ collections before they’re produced.” Yeah, we know what happens when the fat part of the bell curve gets involved.
Crowdsourced literary magazine. See above. Watch literature become pulp overnight. Without adding water!
Gowalla Feature Defines Place Popularity by Experience, Not Checkins. “This ice cream made me come” might get my attention. Otherwise, spare me. (Please God, no more location crap.)
Sexual Assault Case Against WikiLeaks Founder Reopened. So what’s new about either yet another twisted fuck or yet another CIA plot?
Madden NFL Makes Its Debut on Facebook. It’s not a game, it’s an experience. And it leverages.
Facebook’s Latest Patent Targets Search Behaviors. Are we still surprised?
Digg Crowns Former Amazon Exec New CEO. More Internet executive incest. Inbreeding is bad.
Meet the First Plant That Requires Facebook Fans to Survive. Now that’s cute! Almost tempted to reopen my Facebook account just to friend this tamagotchi.
Real-Time Analytics Provider Chartbeat Raises $3M from All-Star Investors. $3M for fucking stats. Ppfffthh.
Japanese Resort Caters to Men with Virtual Girlfriends. It’s people like you who make everybody think we’re all freaks.
10 Useful iPhone Shortcuts, Tips and Tricks. List Post. Check your brain at the door.
Announcing the UN Week Digital Media Lounge. The UN getting all digital. Almost compensates for the losers with the hologirlfriends. And there are thought leaders in there somewhere.
Twitter Temporarily Turns Off “Who to Follow”. OH NOOOOOOOO! What will become of us???
5 Fun FarmVille Accessories. Fall of Western Civilization.
HOW TO: Incorporate Your Startup at the Right Time. There are already 2 million articles about this (no, really), but thanks on behalf of the millions who are too lazy to Google when to incorporate startup.
Somebrand’s LCD TV goes 3D. Somebrand gets a tablet of their own. New Apple TV does more stuff. Apple makes your iPhone work like your Xbox. Somebrand’s making fancy new earbuds. Someapp updates business data in real time. Somebrand puts out a scratchproof/shockproof Android phone. Somebrand improves its e-reader touch screen. Somebrand cuts prices on its low-end e-readers…
If you can still get excited about all this, they’re hiring at Mashable: We’re Hiring! 50+ Job Vacancies in Social Media, Web Design, and More. Go ahead. Make my day.
breakingtheory
September 7, 2010
This is a great post! Proud to be the first to like this. You know what? I thought people liked criticism. But hell. Nobody gave this a like? People like all kinds of bs, don’t they? And nobody even likes this, let alone leaving a comment. Somehow I think it’s a good sign. Maybe people are being embarassed, because they too, clicked on the little thumbs-up button for one of the posts you’re listing. I can’t believe it. This is so like … journalists with Karl Kraus.
Michelle
November 2, 2010
Hilarious! There are so many times when I’m flipping through all the articles thinking “shoot me. shoot me now. No I don’t want to talk about Facebook.” I can’t even imagine how it is for the people that have been in this far longer than I have.
Very cool to have found your blog in any case and hope to meet you soon in person! :)